Emotions: The Reaction to a Belief
As a sensitive soul, I've had my share of intense emotions, especially in relationships. It took many romantic relationships for me to begin to choose my emotions when it ended. For a long time, grief was uncontrollable if a relationship ended. I didn't have to experience grief - I chose to. But for a long time, it didn't feel like my choice. I had identified so tightly with the idea that the break-up was a bad event in my life that I wasn't open to the idea of seeing it another way. Eventually though, I grew tired of the way the grieving over the break-up interrupted the flow of my life. I didn't like feeling the pain for days or even months on end. I began to see that eventually I always thanked God to infinity that that relationship had ended because it wasn't a good fit. I thought - if I always see this later on as the truth, what if I could see this earlier and avoid the pain and grieving and resistance? And so I began to step out of the idea that the way I was feeling in any moment was the only way to feel. I knew that after a break-up I wanted to feel empowered and enveloped in my own warmth and love and feel again the comfort of my solitude. All of these feelings soon became the norm after a break up because it's how I wanted to feel and so I chose to see the situation in a way that enabled me to feel how I wanted. Rather than seeing it as a loss or separating events into 'good' and 'bad,' I began to see that I could trust and surrender to my path and any events beyond my control. Surrendering into trusting life and the Divine empowered me and I began to see my strength and resilience. I began to feel that nothing could truly stop me from living in joy or bring me down. Once I knew that my emotions were a choice, I began to look at how I was seeing different situations that made me feel bad. I began to question why certain emotions were how I thought I must feel. I began to ask myself if there was another way to view the situation.
Have you ever considered that emotions are a reaction to a belief? Have you ever explored the beliefs behind emotions that are causing un-happiness?
One of the tools that helped me most was to get grounded enough to work with my emotions in the first place. First, I had to align with the knowledge that I was safe to stop and feel the emotions in my body and breath. Our emotions aren't just in the mind, they're connected to the whole body. So, if your emotions are overwhelming you, get back into your body. One of the quickest ways to do that is getting exercise, especially walking or running as it involved your feet on the ground. The right amount of exercise is also a healthy way to use that extra energy and so after the exercise there isn't energy for the mind to spin around in emotions. Another way is to sit outside on the earth and practice deep breathing. Using all of your senses will also help you get back into your body. For example light some incense and a candle while also playing a podcast about something uplifting or music that puts you in a place of joy. While listening to the music and smelling the incense, google some photos of people smiling or cute animal pictures and start to feel your energy shift. From this place you may be grounded enough to do some deep breathing or a meditation to explore your feelings.
It's not about declaring your emotions as good or bad or right or wrong. And when you do connect a belief to an emotion, its not about just dismissing it as not true, although you may sometimes realise something isn't true and then fully experience it dissolve. Start from a place of deep acceptance of all you're feeling and just explore your options for how to see different situations. What would happen if you decided to relax a little about xyz? Would that be okay? Would you welcome that? If a part of you wants to relax a bit but another part doesn't, why doesn't that part of you want to?
Emotional energy's ultimate use is for creativity and playful expression. It's up to us if we will create in a way that brings joy, depth, and higher consciousness to our lives and the lives of those around us. To create and express in this way, a willingness to fully feel and take responsibility for our choices in how we feel is required. If our ability to feel our range of emotions is blocked, we will not be able to eliminate past belief systems that we've outgrown and no longer desire. The result of these suppressed emotions is less energy to use toward create the life we truly want and connecting to our authentic being (who we really are). What stories are you carrying today that no longer serve or empower you? What are the emotions that are held with those stories?
If you've had an experience of how your emotions are connected to a belief and you found a new way of seeing, I'd love to hear!